Saturday, August 4, 2007

Fortune Cookies

It's a fact that no body ever believes in fortune cookies, they are just fun little things you read and forget about. But they are usually written general enough that they could always be interpreted to be relevant to your current life. It happens that my recent fortune cookies have been... pretty relevant :). I guess the first one I got was "Embrace change, don't battle it". Ironically, at the time I probably was struggling against change, fighting it because as usual, I hate change. I know change is inevitable, but at that particular time, nothing made sense, it was completely illogical and perhaps thats why I battled it so hard. To me, everything MUST make sense, it has to be... logical. Of course I'm wrong... life is not a program or a problem where there is a logical solution or that its simply following one logical step to another. If it was like that, we'd all just be androids walking around without emotions... I guess with that fortune cookie... I started to accept things as they were, let whatever will happen... happen instead of constantly fighting it. A lot has changed in the past 2 months. The other fortune cookie that day was "If you wait too long for the perfect moment, the perfect moment will pass you by.". While its not my fortune cookie... it was still oddly relevant... but thats a different story.
This past Sunday I got another fortune cookie... "Sometimes it is better to travel hopefully than to arrive". After staring at the fortune for a minute, I realized that maybe I've been "traveling hopefully" this past couple of months. I knew what the final destination would be from the start... I knew what I wanted was impossible... but with every step that I took, a part of me held on to the hope that the destination would be different... that it'd be possible to make things happen. I suppose this past week, I finally arrived... no more "traveling hopefully"... I ended up where I thought I would, I guess some things are too difficult to overcome. A large part of me wish this journey could have gone on forever, well at least another month or two :)... after all traveling hopefully is arguably happier (at least, less sad) and more enjoyable. But at the same time... you gotta arrive at one point or another. Having that closure is just as important and really it ended pretty well all things considered. Perhaps the strangest thing is that even though I expected to arrive here, it affected me a lot deeper than I ever imagined. I haven't felt this way in awhile... Sure there are things I wish I did differently, or improve, but thats life. If given the chance, I'd make the same decision as I did... I would still take on this journey... I still wouldn't trade the past few months for anything in the world. Definitely no regrets :).

I'm not sure what happens next. But I guess as people say, the end of one journey is the start of another. Except this time, I don't know where I'll arrive and I will still "travel hopefully" :).

Here are two random Chinese old classics... one from Andy Lau:

and one from Jacky Cheung